


Shiny Shiny Rocks

by Rainah (RainahFiclets)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angst, Emotional Abuse, F/M, SAD SAD THIS DOES NOT END HAPPILY, plus some Mr. and Mrs Harris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 04:59:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2096664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainahFiclets/pseuds/Rainah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn’t lie to her, not really. He means it when he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He was always going to propose. If it took the end of the world to get him there, well, that just means he’s human.</p><p>An examination of Xander's feelings leading up to the big day</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shiny Shiny Rocks

"Xander, why are rocks so expensive?" she asked one night, as they were coming home from The Magic Shop. He'd picked her up on his way home from work, a habit that formed when he realised _exactly_ what seeing him in uniform did to her.

"Oh, they're not so bad. Not if we buy them through the company. But we can't landscape, we have an apartment."

"Not those." She waved a dismissive hand. "The shiny ones they sell in jewelry stores. A ring with a shiny rock is far more expensive than one without, especially if the rock is white."

"Those are diamonds, An," he said. "They're expensive because they're rare."

She brightened. "I like rare things. Will you buy me one, Xander? A shiny white rock?'

"No!" He nearly yelped, cutting off her confused indignation. "Those...those are what people give when they want to get married, An. It would mean I was proposing to you."

"Oh." She thought it over for a minute. "-So you don't want to marry me?"

The thought had occurred to him, of late. They had a nice setup, an apartment to share and full-time jobs. They could do it. And he could be a good husband. It wasn't so much different than being a good boyfriend, and if Anya was still with him he had to be doing alright at that. Yet.... "Not right now."

She slumped down into the seat. "I want a pretty rock."

"I'll get you one, An," he promised her. "Just.... not right now." _And maybe not on a ring._

\- - - - - - - 

He did take her shopping for one though, once the holiday bonuses came in. The jewelry shop glitters all over, with tasteful displays of baubles far out of their price range. 

"Take a look, An," Xander said grandly, sweeping an around the store, though he made sure to steer her toward the lesser expensive cases. "Just stay away from the white rings"

"Oh, but I like these ones." Of course she's drifted over to the engagement rings. One of the workers walks over, smelling money.

"Would you like to try it on, miss? Two full carats, guaranteed to be conflict free."

"Yes please." And Xander watched the salesgirls fit a diamond ring onto his girlfriend’s hand. It looks.... strange, there. Unexpected, like waking up with an extra toe or finding out your best friend was now dating a girl. The sort of thing that makes you look at the world a little differently.

Of course, that's not the end of it.

"I would like to try that one on." Anya nodded to another ring, this one with an even bigger diamond. "Oh, and that one there."

As they hurried to hand her the extravagant rings, Xander felt compelled to remind her. "We're not getting engaged, An. Maybe something a little less.... wedding?" _And a little less $10 000._

Anya eventually settled on a pendant set with a small topaz stone. "It has to have a stone," she explained to the salesgirl. "That way people know it's rare." The girl doesn't even blink, just asks Xander if he wants his receipt. He doesn't.

\- - - - - - - -

The rings went on sale in March, after all of the Valentine's shopping and proposing is done. When Xander saw the huge _PRICES SLASHED_ announcements he decided to take a chance.

Anya's favourite ring is still there, and with the current discounts it's affordable.

He 

He bought it. 

_Someday,_ he told himself. But it's clear that someday is coming a lot sooner than he ever anticipated. Xander can feel the lump hidden in his pocket, and it weighs more than he could ever imagine.

\- - - - - - - - -

He proposed as the world was ending. He's had the damned ring in his pocket for two months already, waiting until he felt sure. Looking for the perfect time.

But now it's clear there will never be a perfect time, there may never be a time again, so he pulled out the ring and tries to make the best of it. The world may be ending but he wants Anya to know that he's sure. Wants to die knowing he's got it figured out, that even though he's only 20 he's still done better than his parents ever have.

He’s in love with a beautiful, amazing girl and he’s going to marry her.

He doesn’t lie to her, not really. He means it when he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He was always going to propose. If it took the end of the world to get him there, well, that just means he’s human.

\- - - - - - 

Wedding are hell, there’s no way around it. His _parents_ are hell, which is little comfort to the menagerie of demons his fiancée has invited. He’d almost forgotten, in the bliss of an apartment empty of everyone but Anya.

“Do they ever stop?” she asked him, huddled on the tile floor of the bathroom. They’d been spending a lot of time up there, whenever his parents went at it or her skull-demon friends decided to brawl.

_“Don’t you take a drink of that, don’t you dare.”_

_“Or what? You’ll nag me to death? Little late sweetheart!”_

He wrapped an arm around her. “Give them time. They’ve drink themselves unconscious eventually.” She gave a weak laugh, so he pressed on, “Now, if the demons would fall unconscious when they were done setting things on fire we might just get an hour of peace.”

She opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by a cry from below.

_and marrying into a house of freaks!”_

_“It wasn’t me that let him watch all those tv shows, you’re the one to blame for damn everything-“_

Anya looked to him, but Xander just grimaced and shook his head. 

Having _them_ under his roof again brought back more than he wanted to deal with at the moment. Suddenly, he was no longer the confidant man who had everything worked out. He was just Xander again, Xander with two friends and drunks for parents and nothing resembling a future.

 _But I beat it._ He looked to the ring on Anya’s finger, the promise there. _I can prove them all wrong_.

All it took was the promise of forever.

Scary, the idea of forever. To be bound to Anya forever, no matter what she did or what he turned into. No matter if she stocked the fridge with skeezy cheese or he worked to much or they grew to hate each other. He couldn’t be thinking like this. The wedding was in two days and everyone was counting on him. _Anya_ was counting on him. “I love you, Anya,” he told her, voice almost hoarse.

She turned, her smile as bright as the ring on her finger. “I love you too, Xander. I’m looking forward to saying that in front of our friends and your family.”

Only two more days.

\- - - - - - 

Xander never quite forgives himself for leaving. For giving her that shiny rock and then breaking its magic.

For proving them right about him, once and for all.


End file.
